Indeed

The English language is a constant amusement to me. It makes no sense, and it often leaves me bewildered, amused or annoyed. And if it wasn’t for spell check I probably wouldn’t be typing these blogs as nothing is spelled phonetically like they say (and the irony of that word should be lost on no one.)

Indeed. This word pretty much is the water of conversation. It fills up all the nooks and cracks of silence. You can use it when you agree with someone, and you can use it when you don’t agree. Most people assume you are saying it to agree with them, but sometimes I say it when I don’t agree, when I don’t really know what else to say. For example, when a guy told me he liked to be peed on my first reaction was ‘indeed’ as I didn’t want to offend him, but I really didn’t know what the appropriate response was beyond ‘holy shit, that is messed up.’ Of course sometimes indeed backfires on me, as people assume I’m agreeing, as this guy did. Then there was the awkward moment where I had to definitively state that I was not willing to pee on him.

Disgruntled, we use this word often, yet rarely do you ever hear of anyone being gruntled. The same with reiterate, rarely do we state that we are going to iterate a point.

Then of course there are the phrases. Getting my goat. I don’t even know where this started, but it’s odd. I am not sure why or when this would be appropriate. How the sayings got started is beyond me. Did people use to steal each other’s goats as practical jokes? Or as a punishment for some type of crime? And once they got my goat, what are they going to do with it? Will they take care of it? Sell it? Eat it? Don’t eat my goat that is rude. Also, fish in a barrel, why are you shooting them, just reach in and grab one. Also, as a clarification point, are the fish in the barrel alive or dead. If they are dead, shooting them is even more redundant. If they are alive, why do you want them dead?

Why can my DVR not recognize I want to just fast forward through the commercials and stop when the show comes back on? Also, why when I’m watching a show on DVR can I never remember I can fast forward through the commercials till I’ve watched the majority of them? DVR is an amazing invention, but I feel that it could be greatly improved. Someone needs to get going on that.

Why is it if you are sitting in a chair and leaning backwards that moment when you think you are going to fall is so scary? Realistically I know I’m not falling to my death, the chair is what, like 2 or 3 feet off the ground, odds are in my favor that I am going to survive, yet my heart stops for a moment, I feel the breath leave my lungs and there is that 2 seconds of complete stress where I think I’m not going to make it. Then the chair rights itself and my body returns to its normal functions. Yet at that moment I would bet anything that the fall is going to kill me.

Today I am getting ready, putzing around the house when I suddenly feel the breath becomes rapid and shallow, my heart rate accelerates. I can feel the sweat break out on my skin, and the hair rises on the back of my neck. My eyes fill with tears. It is as though there is a giant man eating snake staring me down. What is even worse is I KNOW there is no snake, but my brain is telling my body to respond as though there is. Complete flight or fight response. There is nothing I can do to rationalize that I am not in danger, all I can do is ride the ride till it is over. It appears the pacing helps, I think it tricks my brain , into thinking I’m fleeing, which is really the only option, as there is nothing physical for me to fight. My question is how is it that while my brain is sending signals that I am under immediate attack it also knows that I have nothing to worry about. Nothing like that to make one wonder if sanity is going to be sticking around or not, though they say if you wonder if you are sane, you are ok. Insane people do not question their sanity.

Thought of the day that isn’t mine: There is sacredness in tears; they are not a mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than then thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief… and unspeakable love. – Washington Irving